perjantai 17. maaliskuuta 2017

Can't blame U. - The other side of the story behind the song

My new single called ' U. ' was released. Thank U all for listening to it! Here are the links to all the streaming/download sites I'm at in case U haven't and want to: MUSIC

It's a bitchy, sarcastic, angry song about an unhealthy relationship. It's an anger management tool.

" Metal for desperate housewives " but not to blame any gender. I've been twice in a relationship where I was told that if I'd leave the person would kill themselves. I'm pansexual so U can do the math... I've never been a part of the gang who wants to blame " the opposite sex ", whatever sex it is to U.
I've none: I consider my soul to be some sort of  genderfluid. I love my both parts equally.

Pretty as a bitch

It's also not a song to blame suicidal people. Those who are really depressed and want to die. I'd never mock them, never! It's just I don't like to be threatened and I don't appreciate suicide to be a way to blackmail someone to be with u. That's just a sick way to control and it's violence. I'm never going to tolerate that kind of bullshit anymore!

If U really want to kill yourself, U don't want to do harm to others, U just want to escape the suffering. That's completely a different story and has nothing to do with this song of mine.

I can't blame U. 

The other side of the story is: There's only one certain link between U and your sucky relationships.

And that's U.

Communication is always between more than just one person. A relationship is always between U and another person, not just the other person that U can blame if the whole thing sucks. U get to be angry, to write a song about that.

But U can't blame men. Or women. Or your EX for all the shit U had to go through.

At least I feel I can't. But oh dear how it felt good to do such an angry song about the matter!
It's always good to make something good about the bad. Hopefully the song is therapeutic to others as well.

I have this problem I have to manage in me:

I'm too nice to the point it's not nice anymore. People will control U, if U let them.
Whenever I'm in a relationship I tend to do too much. Give too much and  forget myself.
If my love says: " Please don't go to the gym, I want to hang out. ", there's a high risk I won't go.
If the one I'm with says: " I wanted to spend time today with U, can U please leave the computer...? "
there's a high risk I won't do my creative work.

And then I get frustrated, distant and nervous. My own life passes by and I feel like I'm trying but I never have time. I need a lot of space to do my thing.

I also take care about the person I'm with to the point it starts to be more like a mother-child relationship ( and I'm the mothering type ) than a healthy relationship between two adults.

So I'm also mocking myself with the " desperate housewives " pictures. I coukd sing " I CAN take it! " because I've been an annoying martyr taking shit from people. Then it gets worse and worse and all of the sudden I leave.

But I think I've learned the lesson! The song was mainly written a long time ago. At least I understand my part of the story and I control myself: I will rock no matter what and I won't stop to live for anyone. And that's the message I want to deliver: God gives us gifts and passions. It might not be art or music, it can be anything but it's U, the purest and most honest U. Never let anyone stop U to do your thing. Not for a relationship, not for anything. Be free to do stuff! The person who really loves U will never ever be in your way!

And never ask someone to give up on their dreams for U. That's crazy selfish!

One person asked me what I'm doing at the band practise. I sing and I write music. That's what I do! I also don't go to a recording studio to cheat...